PapioTom's Preposterous Papillonization Project
Field of Study:
My yard. Forty-five hundred square feet of hill.
Field of Dreams:
My favorite movie.
Course Objective:
To reintroduce a native lepidopter to developed
land in the Eastern Nebraska area and increase population density of said
specie in surrounding environs.
Coarse Objective:
To grow some damn butterflies.
Abstract:
Very. Using my right-brain as instructor and left-brain
as student, and having completed prerequisite studies on the Internet for
over two weeks, I shall attempt to complete the coarse objective within
the span of one season.
What set him off?
The reasons are many and varied. First, see this page for a simple history of my town and its nomenclature. Second,
read about the plight
of above indicated lepidopter, as written by people who write things. Third,
read of the insidious
secret government plot to rid my aforementioned town of its namesake
lepidopter by replacing its natural environmental habitat with megabuildings.
Fourth, I have an innate
artist's will to create beautiful things, a desire that has combined
with a Frankensteinian hope to bring life to a place where once was none,
demonically spawning a horrifying melange of neuroses that are best exorcised
by relaxing in my yard and watching pretty little harmlessnesses like butterflies
and fireflies.
Fireflies?
Well, I was born in Philadelphia and down sath we
callum lattning boogs. I suppose I could study for a couple of days on
how to raise fireflies, but my town
wasn't named after fireflies, nor are they that pretty in the daytime.
Do you always talk to yourself?
Since when did this become a question and answer
session? Stop distracting me; I'm about to describe my Project.
Overview: The life cycle of a butterfly
Which came first, the butterfly or the egg? The
egg. The egg grows on milkweed. Soon, a caterpillar hatches and eats the
milkweed. Then it curls up into a ball and magically becomes a hard lumpy
thing called a chrysalis. (Jennifer says I do much the same thing in my
waterbed.) After hanging out for a while, the chrysalis splits open and
a butterfly pops out. By this time it's sick of milkweed and flies off
to suck on pretty flowers instead. Hopefully it falls in love with another
butterfly, and after a quick mating the mommy will fly back to lay eggs
on a milkweed... while the daddy flies off to Mexico. William Zittrich
has a fine photo essay of all this on his website
at http://www.geocities.com/wyllz/id178.htm
That's it?
Except for the part where, after mating, the female
sinks its beak into the male and injects it with neurotoxin before ripping
out his heart and dashing it to the ground, then screeching madly, she
clutches his limp and lifeless husk in her talons and carries it for miles,
only to drop the corpse into the river where it can't be identified.
Okay, I made that part up. Girls you meet in bars do that. Monarchs are harmless.
Proposal:
I am endeavoring to increase the local population
of butterflies. I plan to facilitate this by growing fresh milkweed plants,
putting caterpillars on the plants, and letting them do their thing. If
and when they become butterflies, I will have pretty flowers ready for
them to nosh on. Hopefully they will love me so much that they hang around
in my yard instead of going on that winter vacation in Mexico.
Since nobody would ever choose my yard over a vacation in Mexico, I will have an auxiliary butterfly love nest where I can keep some guests for a couple of weeks, a miniature land of milkweed and honeywater.
SO! Let's cut the crap and go straight to Phase One!
