Phantom Pain

As I began to wake up one morning
curled up on my side in bed
I could feel the love of my life sleeping tightly against me
one tiny hand between us softly pressed on my back
her other arm draped over, embracing me.
I felt her cheek laid against my shoulder
and as she slept,
the heat from each rhythmic breath she exhaled
tickled the hairs on the back of my neck.
I became dimly aware of my room
still dark and gray in the pre-dawn hour
and, wanting to stay there, asleep with her,
I listened to her breathing, each warm tingling wave
keeping time with my own.
As I surfaced from the depths of sleep
her hot, rhythmic breaths on my neck faded to whispers,
and when my eyes creaked open
in my dark gray bed, in my dark gray room, she was gone.
I sighed, disappointed yet resigned
for I've long ago come to know
that I will sleep alone for the rest of my life,
and the ghosts of Christmas past that haunt me
and the loving fantasies in my memory
are only dreams.